For the last time before Tuesday’s election voting, John Oliver began Last Week Tonight with the presidential election.
The two candidates spent most of the week furiously campaigning, during which, Donald Trump, ” the human equivalent of a clear plastic bag filled with cheeseburgers and Confederate flag belt buckles” spent the week making a visible effort to restrain himself:
“Even Trump’s inner monologue has the tone of a serial killer stalking his prey in a food court,” Oliver observed.
Just before the show taped, there was breaking news regarding those Hillary Clinton emails found on Anthony Weiner’s computer, the HBO late night host said. “The FBI has apparently finished reviewing them and has said they warrant no new action against Hillary Clinton.”
It’s unclear if this information will get to voters in time to change any minds, though, “if you’re still undecided I honestly don’t know if I can help you,” Oliver admitted.
“This election hasn’t so much appealed to our better angels as it has groped our better angels, mocked their weight and called them 6s at best. We are at a point where [Donald Trump] has a real shot at the presidency, despite having blown up a political party, undermined confidence in our electoral system, declared open season on journalists, and unleashed a river of racism and misogyny. Also, and I feel like we’ve lost sight of this: he has really stupid hair.”
It is frankly hard to believe there ever was a time when people thought a Trump candidacy would be funny, Oliver acknowledged. “But there was such a time,” he confessed, “Because, as you may remember, three years ago I guest-hosted The Daily Show.
Cue up The Daily Show video of Trump saying he would consider a White House run in 2016 and Daily Show guest-host Oliver snarking back: “Do it! Do it! Look at me! Do it! I will personally write you a campaign check now, on behalf of this country, which does not want you to be president but which badly wants you to run.”
Oliver’s Last Week Tonight crowd groaned as, no doubt, did viewers at home.
“I want to believe America will reject Donald Trump, that our innate sense of decency will kick in, like some sort of moral autopilot. But I have been spectacularly wrong before,” he admits, noting that eight years ago, while still a correspondent on The Daily Show, he insisted the Chicago Cubs would never ever win the World Series.
“I’m an idiot. But that clearly shows, no outcome is certain,” Oliver said, philosophically. “So if you are thinking you don’t have to show up on Tuesday because there is no way the impossible could happen, take it from somebody who has learned from painful experience: You are wrong about that.”
