Happy Monday! Here is the most awkward video of all time!
Oh, you think you’ve seen the most awkward video ever created? Then obviously you haven’t seen the little ditty that Johnny Depp and Amber Heard recorded to publicly apologize for failing to declare the couple’s pet Yorkshire terriers, Pistol and Boo, when the actress entered Australia in 2015.
It is, without a doubt, the most painful 42 seconds you’ll ever experience. Yes, even worse than the time you accidentally watched 40 seconds of Mortdecai while flipping through the movie channels trying to get to Kung Fu Panda 2.
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The video, released on Monday, April 18, 2016, features the married couple reading a prepared statement about Australia’s biosecurity laws. According to Magistrate Margaret Callaghan, the apology video from the celebs will give the Australian Department of Agriculture “more deterrence value…than any conviction.”
Well, Depp and Heard have now basically been imprisoned in the jail of awkward Internet videos. And folks, it’s a life sentence.
Just how cringe-inducing is their recorded apology? Let’s investigate…
If there were a script written for this video, this part would read: “Fade in on Johnny Depp looking like someone just punched him in the shin and then told him he can no longer work with Tim Burton.”
Awkward Score: 8
That face he makes after reading his first line? That is the face of a man who has accepted his fate.
Awkward Score: 7
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While his beautiful wife talks, Johnny screams with his eyes.
Awkward Score: 6
We’re surprised Johnny didn’t just fall back in his chair as he read words that were obviously written on cue cards behind the camera.
Awkward Score: 4
Blink away the pain, Johnny. Blink it away.
Awkward Score: 6
Johnny, this is the most uncomfortable you’ve ever been. Nod if you agree.
And then, with a blissful fade out, it’s over.
Awkward Score: 9 bajillion
Total Awkward Score: 9 bajillion and 31
What does this score actually mean? Nothing. It’s a completely made up number because there is no score high enough to adequately grade just how awkward this whole apology thing was. Please, give Johnny and Amber Oscars for their brave performance.
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