“Who would have thought this audience would be so excited about the co-founder of ISIS,!” ABC late-night star Jimmy Kimmel enthused when Hillary Clinton walked out on his stage tonight.
Kimmel wondered how she is preparing to debate Donald Trump.
“I watched lot of his debates, and he insulted all of his opponents, and all of the moderators, about 80% of the American people, and the rest of the world,” she noted. “But you got to be prepared for wacky stuff that comes at you. I am drawing on my experience in elementary school.”
Reports that Clinton is unwell have been circulated by Trump and his surrogates. Asking him to take her pulse, Clinton reminded Kimmel that “back in October National Enquirer said I would be dead in six months.”
To put the discussion to rest, Kimmel had Clinton open a jar of pickles. “I do feel sometimes that this campaign had entered into an alternative universe,” she commented after opening the jar.
“If you are elected President, how great if your first act would be to deport Donald Trump to Mexico,” Kimmel imagined. Clinton said she’s “not into deporting anybody” except violent people, adding, “This is such a serious time in our country.”
“Not really,” Kimmel deadpanned.
He wondered if Clinton would prefer to be running against somebody boring “like Mitt Romney.”
“I would prefer to be running against somebody I thought was qualified to be President and temperamentally fit to be commander-in-chief,” she countered.
“I don’t think we’ve ever been confronted by somebody who we see, right now in the midst of this election, is unqualified and temperamentally unfit,” she said, noting some of the Republican bigwigs who are endorsing her, “putting country before party.”
Talk turned to Clinton’s grandchildren; she said, “I think I’d be distraught if we didn’t have FaceTime” to interact with them.
“Have you considered using FaceTime instead of email?” Kimmel wondered.
“Actually I think that’s really good advice,” Clinton admitted.
He presented her with a fishbowl in which were slips of paper printed with actual Donald Trump quotes. She read several until, selecting one she said, “Oh I can’t read this. I can’t read it.”
Kimmel did:
We didn’t make this up,” he hastened to add.
Clinton last visited Kimmel’s show in March when she was the Dem front-runner, where she learned comedy is hard.
“I am going to be your secret weapon, because I’m going to help you win this election, no problem,” Kimmel told Clinton back then as she made what was then her second visit of the election cycle to his ABC late-night show. Kimmel offered to help “man-splain” campaign speech-giving to the political veteran, then asked if she understood the expression.
“Yeah, that’s when a man explains something to a woman in a patronizing way,” Clinton responded.
“Actually, it’s when a man explains something to a woman in a condescending way – but you were close,” he joked.
