“I was fascinated watching Donald Trump” Jimmy Kimmel said of the final presidential debate tonight in his first post-debate Jimmy Kimmel Live.
“His eyes were mostly closed the whole time, his voice was at phone-sex whisper. It almost seemed as if he was doing an impression of Alec Baldwin doing an impression of him,” Kimmel observed, correctly.
“He said ‘disaster’ and he said ‘bigly’ a couple of time and he said Mexico is sending some bad hombre over here. I guess those Rosetta Stone tapes are paying off,” Kimmel snarked.
Among those Trump invited to be his guests at the debate, Kimmel noted, were President Obama’s half brother and Sarah Palin.
“Sarah Palin is the HPV of American politics,” Kimmel said as his audience tittered. “She lays dormant for quite a while but, just when you think she’s gone…”
Speaking of Obama’s Trump-supporting half brother, Kimmel announced President Obama will make a return visit to Jimmy Kimmel Live on Monday – 15 days ahead of the election. Obama hasn’t visited Kimmel’s show since March 12, 2015, during which he read a special presidential edition of Mean Tweets, which has generated more than 46M views. Obama did a comedy bit for Stephen Colbert’s late night show this week which was a thinly veiled plug for his younger viewers to get out and vote.
In a fun segment, Kimmel staged a faux debate between Donald Trump and his running mate Mike Pence, by way of pointing out the many subjects on which they disagree. After which Kimmel ran video of a Kimmel Kids’ Out of Focus group. Three precocious moppets said they found the debate “pretty annoying,” thought Donald Trump talked over Hillary Clinton, and were amazed to learn Clinton had attended Trump’s wedding. Trump, they said, most resembles a carrot, while Clinton resembles an onion. Her running mate Tim Kaine looks like a mushroom, or George Clooney, or George Washington. Mike Pence looks a lot friendlier than his running mate, but then, Donald Trump looks as if he’s losing his mind every day, they explained.
Kimmel’s guest, Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson, addressing the debate with Kimmel after the kids, saying he too had issues with both candidates, though not of the vegetable kind. Johnson, who advocates legalizing pot, declined Kimmel’s offer to roll a joint, out of what Kimmel promised was not marijuana. Kimmel insisted Johnson’s poll numbers would skyrocket if they got the footage of Johnson rolling a joint. Johnson insisted he was turning down the offer, not because he hasn’t rolled a joint in 25 years, but because pot smokers don’t tend to get out and vote, so Kimmel’s is a flawed premise. Johnson may not know what Aleppo is, but he’s not an idiot.
