Amy Schumer Dreamed of Having Sex With Christian Bale, Even “When He Was Emaciated in The Machinist”

No trainwrecks here!

At least not the bad kind. Funny lady Amy Schumer is featured in W magazine’s Best Performances Issue, and the comedian has landed herself among quite the batch of talented players.

In February’s issue, Amy joins the ranks of fellow comedians Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig, and one of our favorite newcomers—as well as one of the mag’s youngest featured performers—Bel Powley.

Funny-bunch aside, W‘s latest issue spotlights an impressive bracket of showbiz vets including Eddie Redmayne and Alicia Vikander for their dramatic roles in The Danish Girl, Jane Fonda for her work in Youth, and Samuel L. Jackson who plays quite the convincing villain in Quentin Tarantino‘s latest feature, The Hateful Eight.

Who was this year’s best performer? It’s hard to say. But Amy certainly came out on top in the hilarious(ly awkward) one-liners arena.

So, which film performance does Schumer admire most? “I have a crush on Christian Bale. Newsies was a really big deal to me…I definitely wanted to have sex with him when he was emaciated in The Machinist,” she unabashedly says. “I’ll take Christian any way I can get him.”

If it’s any consolation Amy, we kind of have a thing for you too. Not that we have anything against Christian Bale…or any of your fellow bunch of performer-Bests.

What we’re trying to say is we’ll take you any way we can get you—especially if you continue to make headlines per your past year of über successes. Amy not only starred in the comedy taste-making mega-hit of the year, but if you recall, the actress also graced the coveted Saturday Night Live stage this past fall following Miley Cyrus, in the show’s second episode of the season.

“Stand-up comedian Amy Schumer had a star-is-born moment with her autobiographical film Trainwreck,” W magazine fittingly posits.

A star indeed. It’s hard to say where the funny lady will be making waves next. But suffice it to say the comedian’s career doesn’t seem groomed for any breed of crash and burn in the near future. Unless of course, we consider the hilarious, scripted variety. That, we’re sure, is certain.

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