American Horror Story: Hotel’s Biggest Reveals and

This just in from the Hotel Cortez: Everyone is plotting to kill everyone!

Even characters that, you know, can’t actually be killed. What a weird and wonderful season of American Horror Story this is turning out to be. 

After last week’s fantastic revelation that John Lowe (Wes Bentley) is indeed The 10 Commandments Killer (and BTW, where the bloody hell was he this week? Living a third, yet to be announced life?), the focus pivoted back to The Countess, James March and poor, sad, ultimately devoured Will Drake, who did indeed soil his suit.

So what comes next? And who HAS to go down before the series ends? Let’s dig in.

WHAT WE LEARNED

Ramona’s Backstory = Heartbreak. Way to make us care about someone right before she’ll probably die, SHOW. That 20-year flashback of Ramona caring for her poor father, who suffered from both dementia and the ancient blood virus (BAD combo!), gave her character far more dimension. And now, of course, since she’s on The Countess and Donovan’s “List,” she probably won’t survive.

The Countess Is Playing Donovan—and He Knows It. This can’t end well for Donovan, right?

Natasha Is Definitely Going to Die. The Countess most definitely did not invite her over for mani pedis and girl talk.

The Countess’s Candy Room Needs a New Wing. That has to be where Max, the boy that Alex turned, is going to end up with all his awful friends, right? Also worth noting: If your body is infected with measles, apparently you shouldn’t feed your blood virus blood to all your classmates because when they don’t feed, they get measles , too. (This storyline could NOT be more disturbing.)

WHAT LIES AHEAD

James March MUST Go Down. So many characters now have it out for March, that it seems inevitable he will be taken down. And yet, the very idea  begs some important questions: CAN he be taken down? And who will do it? John Lowe upon learning that March took Holden? The Countess as an act of revenge for March holing up Rudy Valentino? We have been told that the ghosts (like March) can be stuck in the hotel building until they find a purpose and then they are able to move on. So….here’s my best theory. John Lowe will complete March’s 10 Commandment Killings, giving March no reason to hang on, and allowing him to GTFO of Hotel Cortez, where he is passionately hated by all.

It’s also possible that the final 10 Commandments Killing (which John Lowe has vowed to finish) could have to do with one of the two remaining Commandments: Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Brother’s House. A K A the Hotel. And that could lead to a new owner/HKIC (Head Killer in Charge): Perhaps John Lowe and he can live there disgustingly ever after with Alex and Holden.

And Scarlett can…visit? #POORSCARLETT

Tweet me your best theories @kristindsantos!

LINE OF THE NIGHT: Liz objecting at The Countess and Will Drake’s wedding. “Ahhh yeah, because she’s a bitch with no conscience, no mercy, no soul?” Denis O’Hare = killing it.